Language is everything to a writer. It is the main tool used to describe, create worlds, express emotions, connect with the reader and tell tales about great adventures. But what if the writer is multilingual? Which language to write in? Can the writer write in two, three or even more languages in parallel? What about the style and expressions which will be specific for the different languages?
Not long ago I shared with you about the history of the Bulgarian language and how special it is to me. However, recently I have been using English much more in my studies and daily communication. My expression however is completely different in these two languages, which has put me in a certain uncomfortable situation when it comes to my writings. On one hand it is the desire to write in the native language, the one that comes naturally, where words are all familiar and flowing easily like a calm river. On the other hand there’s English, my second language, a more popular and spoken by many to be sure, but a language which cannot express as easily the same meanings that the native language conveys.
So which one should it be? Should I write some books in English and some in Bulgarian? Or can I write the books in both languages in parallel chapter by chapter? Naturally, I wouldn’t want to limit my audience and decide who will get to read what in which language. Naturally, some people will prefer to read it in Bulgarian and some in English and my wish would be to satisfy all parties. But I have always wondered how people manage it when they need to think and express themselves in two, three or even more languages.
If make a little comparison between Bulgarian and English, it is quite difficult to decide which one has more benefits or which is the obvious choice. When I first started writing in my teenage years, I wrote mainly in Bulgarian since that was the language that people around me spoke and read in. My life was mostly concentrated in my home country where I communicated in my native language with my family and friends. Now I live somewhere else where Bulgarian is not spoken by many. I still sometimes feel the urge to just start speaking Bulgarian out of nowhere even though nobody will understand me. My new friends and connections cannot possibly feel the beauty of my native language with the force I want to convey it. If I choose to write my books only in my native language my family and friends in Bulgaria will surely be able to read it as well as anyone who speaks the language. But many others would not understand a word of what I write and that feels limiting.
There is, of course, the other side of the coin. Writing in English has many positive sides, one of which is its internationality and the fact that 1.35 billion people in the world speak it as opposed to the 15 million Bulgarian speakers. When I first came to the Netherlands to study, I thought I would never be able to start thinking and feel completely comfortable with English even though I had received excellent English education and had defended a Cambridge certificate. I was feeling shy and unprepared as though nobody would understand me. I was feeling this uncertainty that comes from the feeling that you don’t know all the existing words in this language and your mind is not properly tuned to it.
By now that has completely changed since I am spending more time speaking English than Bulgarian and I am in my home country barely for few months in the year. By now my thoughts flow equally fast and fluent in both languages and I feel closer to English than to Bulgarian when expressing myself. It is probably sad but it is true. Yet, if I write only in English I leave behind a part of my identity and of my origin. I know deep in my heart that whatever I write in English will never match the quality that I would have produced if I had written it in Bulgarian. Surely, my new friends in the Netherlands will understand what I write and so will 1.35 billion other people. But my roots will always pull me back towards my native language.
I feel this article has turned out to be a sober one and not the cheery ordinary stuff I normally share. It’s reflection time after all and reflections cannot always be cheery. The topic about the languages, even though probably not the most important factor in writing, has been buzzing in my mind for quite some time. Well, here it is, I spit it out and now you can as well as me comprehend that there is no easy life hack for it. Or is there? I cannot pretend like I know best but it would make sense to me to write my books in both languages in parallel even though it would be so troublesome and time-consuming. I suppose if you cannot sit on neither chair then pull them close together and sit on both. Hence, you can expect my works in both languages once I sit seriously and finally write it. 🙂
Would you agree with my conclusions? What would you do? Have you experienced anything similar with the languages you speak? Do let me know!
Sincerely,
D.D.
The Sunlight Writer 